...I honestly don’t know if I made the right decision, and if I will forever regret this. I am feeling tiny hints of regret right now, but I’ve got to stand by my decision and be at peace with it. The past few days I’ve been praying about it, and I was asking God for an answer, for a decision, hoping that maybe He could decide for me. But who am I kidding? For the longest time I believed that the “practical voice” in my head is just me chickening out, but then it hit me: what if that was God? What if God was telling me to stop, to assess the situation properly and then make a decision, instead of just jumping in too much without even looking?

If it’s any comfort, I know Australia will always be there. And I can go anytime I want (provided I have money :p). Also, I know there will be next World Youth Days. No, it’s not going to be in Australia, but it’s okay. At least I get to see another place. :)

It’s sad, but I know in my heart I fought for it in the best way I could. I could have fought better, but I’ll reserve it for the next “battle”. I believe God appreciates all my efforts for the past months. I guess it’s the time for me to learn that as much as God wants me to dream big dreams, sometimes these big dreams have to wait so He can give me something even bigger and better than what I can ever imagine. :) ...

So...it's been another year. :) Today, I celebrate my first year in my current company. That's us, around September, during our photo shoot for the newsletter of our account. And no, that's not what was shown in the newsletter, but it's one of our wacky poses, which just goes to show how wacky we really are in real life.

Our team has gone through a lot for the past year. From the orientation, to trainings, to successful transition, to having difficult and hard to understand clients. There's also when we were tapped for projects outside of our process that we can work on -- video editing, posters, etc. There were the awards that the team got that shocked everyone, that put us in a new status within the company, sort of. There was our almost monthly dinner every after payday, the videoke nights, the free dinners care of our team lead. There were also the sad times, where we shared in the loss of a teammate's family, where we prayed for a teammate's health when she was hospitalized. And there was also the struggles within the team -- the misunderstandings, the unmet expectations and lack of professionalism. And then there's the goodbyes of two teammates, and changes happening inside and outside the team that we all try to adjust to as much as we can.

That's our team. We're not perfect, and there were times I really want to strangle all of them because of me being the only girl left...but it's also like family. We are friends as well as teammates, and it's always a pleasure to be working with these guys (and hopefully another girl whoever the new hire is).

So...here's to a year with these crazy guys. :D Happy anniversary! Best team na 'to! :D

And as for me? How was my past year in the company been so far? :) It's been one heck of a ride, and it's far from over. :) Even if things aren't as good as it seems to be with all the changes happening, I think I'm going to be in here for the long run. :D Great adventure!

Thank You Lord. :) 

So now, two years later…how am I? More importantly, how’s my heart?

Yes, that’s everyone’s favorite question. :>

But seriously now. Here’s me, two years after the entry:

• I’ve learned a lot about relationships, interestingly enough. I got another encounter with crushes, and how crushing they can be. As if I don’t know about that. :P This little post was a fun reminder of how guy are brothers and friends, not prospects! One more time: GUYS ARE BROTHERS AND FRIENDS, NOT PROSPECTS!
• I valued the romantic pursuit that God has put me into, with Him being my pursuer. :) Bethany Dillon’s song, For My Love, became one of my favorite songs, not because it’s romantic in a boy-girl sense, but because this is a song about heavenly pursuit that God has me in. :)
• I decided to recall all the “guys” (or…sort of) in my life for my first Godchicks article, and then I realized that I was really content with my singlehood, and that this is
• I’ve decided, a little over a year later from that entry, that I will start taking responsibility over my heart. This decision is actually one of the thrilling rides I’ve been in since last year, and also brought out a lot of things, like this and another one which I will mention a little later.
• There’s Valentine’s Day 2008, where I learned yet another important lesson. After some bit of bitterness over the occasion, I actually had one of the nicest Valentine’s Days I’ve ever had.
• All the while, my teammates at work and other friends decided to launch a cause for me, where their mission is to find me a boyfriend. Yes, I have my own personal group of people (in my team and even for people outside of my team) who are throwing guys at me just so I can have someone. Haha. Thing is…they blatantly do it, so sometimes it’s kind of embarrassing…buuut I do appreciate their efforts. Wahaha. ;)
• Yet, even after all of that…I’m still single. No big surprise there, if ever I am not, I would’ve posted about it loooong ago. :P

I remember having a conversation with my best friend a couple of days back, and we were talking about how we used to deal with stuff like these. There’s her, going out of her way whenever the guy asks her something, always being with him whenever he needs company and basically making herself available for him. Then there’s me, who puts the guy up up in a pedestal once I start liking him, making him all sparkly and “perfect” in my eyes. Whenever he’d do something that really irked me or even hurt, I’d excuse him and say “He’s just like that” and tell myself that it’s unreasonable for me to get mad at him. And there are those expectations that I always deny having, where even if a guy has never spoken of any of his intentions, I read too much into his actions and start having expectations that say, “If he really likes me, he’d do such and such for me”…which, when it doesn’t happen (which is the case more often than not :p), I end up getting hurt.

Now you see why we can be so bitter? :P Anyway, my best friend and I were laughing at how silly we used to be, and how much hurt we’ve caused ourselves in the past. I’d really like to believe I’m more mature now than I was before, regardless of me still being NBSB. Although I haven’t experienced being a girlfriend yet, or breaking up, I’d like to believe I know how to handle myself better than I do before — meaning, I know how to guard my heart better. That’s a good thing, right?

That doesn’t mean I don’t long for things like this — most of the times I still do, especially when I see people or watch TV or movies or read stuff or listen to songs that speak of love. I still wonder about that elusive thing a lot. I joke about it so much with my teammates and friends, and whenever they introduce or tease someone to me, I have to admit that possibilities enter my mind. As cheesy as this sounds, I still ask this question sometimes: “When will it be me?”

Excuse me a bit. *gags*

But if there’s really one important thing I learned in the past two years…is that life is a great adventure. And to be a part of an adventure, you’ve got to work for it. You’ve got to dive, you’ve got to be involved in life. You can’t just sit and wait for things to happen. Things will happen, alright, but some things you have to work for. It’s just like getting the job you want from the company you dream of — you’ve got to apply to the company you want to work for; the job offer won’t just land on your doorstep or your inbox!

Same goes with love, I believe. I used to believe that the whoever it is that God has created for me will just appear in my life and it will be smooth sailing from there. Thinking about that though, it doesn’t make that much sense. Just as everything in life requires hard work, patience and a whole lot of prayer, love also requires as much — probably even more. I figured that if I want to be ready for love and whoever that guy is, I’ve got to get ready for it. I’ve got to do something about it. I’ve got to get out, meet new people and be more sociable. I’ve got to get to know myself better, to learn as much stuff as I can, to learn how to be beautiful inside and out. I’ve got to dive right into life. And most importantly, I’ve got to pray about it. I’ve got to be open with God about the desire, and if it is His will for me, His plan will unfold for me as I do what He asks me to do. And if it’s not His will, then I still wouldn’t be losing anything since I’ve still done what He wants me to do, which is what my real purpose is in the first place.

I know this sounds mighty idealistic and all, but I think this is where we all start. I honestly have no idea on how this would all turn out, but like I said, it’s an adventure! And no one can ever predict how an adventure will turn out. It’s exciting and scary, but I know God is with me every step of the way. Like what I always say, God is faithful and He won’t give me anything my heart can’t handle. :)

I just read through the entire entry and realized that I may have repeated myself a couple of times with the past entries…but consider this entry as a reminder. Mostly for me. But if it serves as a reminder for you as well, then you’re reminded. ;) Let’s see where this goes shall we? Who knows, someone might join me in this adventure soon enough. ;) Only God knows. :D

Dive! Here’s to my heart’s adventure. :)

June 11, 2005. I was at Araneta Coliseum with a bunch of friends, for one of our first experiences of Hillsong — a seminar and worship led by Reuben Morgan. It was also my first time to be a part of the street team thanks to Jomar who recruited me, so I was particularly excited for it because of all the hard work for selling tickets. It was also one of the most memorable moments of my life. I was so amazed at how the people at Araneta worshipped — Catholics, non-Catholic Christians, all worshipping the same God. Amazing.

November 21, 2006. I was at Ninoy Aquino Stadium, for the first Hillsong United in Manila worship. Needless to say, I was awed that night; in that small venue, beyond my hunger and exhaustion, I definitely felt God’s grace and mercy pour into my life, and that night opened up big dreams for me (namely this).

May 26, 2008. Around one and a half years later, I found my way back to Araneta, this time even more overwhelmed at how God has been good to me, to all my new friends in the Street Team and how He has been so faithful in fulfilling my dreams, especially the ones I forgot about already. Amazing.

Last Monday was Hillsong United’s second time to visit Manila. I have known about the event since March and have been selling tickets ever since after Holy Week. I know I didn’t publicize it much during the time as much as I did for Switchfoot since I was in charge of the Multiply site and I was busy with work. It was a bit more stressful than Switchfoot because of the number of people wanting to buy, and I admit I passed some ticket orders and snapped at one to many people because of their persistence. For that, I apologize. I know I should’ve been extra patient and more accommodating — please accept my apology.

Anyway. Sunday, I was already with the Street Team for grocery shopping and preparing team logistics for the event. After loads of grocery shopping, we went to the hotel to wait for the United Team and to fix more plans for the next day. It was kind of crazy at the hotel room with Tuesday doing some work and the rest of us fixing the cable ties for food (don’t ask) and meeting up with last minute buyers and preparing the band’s rooms and all that. Around 9:00pm, the band arrived at the hotel, and we watched them bring their huge and numerous baggages up the hotel. I have to admit, I was a bit starstruck, but only with two people: Joel Houston (who I didn’t spot until we were about to go up to our room) and Jad Gilles (♥!!!). I didn’t know the rest of the band, so I wasn’t able to be starry-eyed. Hah, then again, in our line of “business”, as Reeya rightly said, we weren’t supposed to be starstruck because we had jobs to do. We learned that in Switchfoot, and I think we did pretty well this time.

And here I say special thanks to Maan for introducing me to Jad Gilles. Yay, dream come true. ♥

We didn’t get to see any of the band until the next afternoon. The rest of the night was filled with preps — going to Araneta to feed the Soundcheck people, sleeping, then going to Araneta early in the morning to make sure the people were fed, to make sure the prod room and dressing room were ready, and all that. In a way it was less stressful than our preps for Switchfoot because the venue was better this time — they provided our security, they provided rooms, they provided a whole lot of stuff that our previous venue didn’t. Around 9:00am, Grace, Happy, Tuesday and I were just waiting for Maan and the others to arrive. We even had make-over sessions just for kicks. ;)

Things started picking up in the afternoon, where we had so many stuff to fix — the stage, the presscon, the IDs. There were a lot of oppressions, as usual: people getting annoyed at some people who were being too sneaky, people trying to get into the venue too early, people not doing any work unless they were asked, and people asking for tickets from us up to the last minute, even if we all made it clear that we don’t sell tickets anymore. Those kinds of things. The presscon and meet and greet were fine, but again, there were some arguments here and there…but God is good despite of all our shortcomings.

We were tired and stressed…but you know what really made up for it? Seeing Araneta Coliseum filled with more than 18000 people. The night before, the producer and some of my fellow Street Team members were at Araneta and we entered the empty coliseum to check on the set up. We were already sold out then and we were giddy about it…and then we looked around the venue and realized that that very place will be filled by people raring to worship God the next night. Our producer was so overwhelmed that she was driven to pray, and pray we did.

And then to see Araneta filled with SO MANY PEOPLE. What a sight. The last time I saw the place filled was during an DLSU-ADMU UAAP Game…and it wasn’t even that filled because there were no people on the court except for players. This one, we filled from Patron to General Admission, and even opened some Standing Room Only seats to accommodate the people who still want to be a part of the worship. AMAZING. Nobody else but God can do this thing.

The worship. Again, I’ve used this word too much in this entry, but it was just AMAZING. Almost two and a half hours of non-stop singing, dancing, jumping, praying and worshipping God. To see everyone in Araneta raising their hands in worship, clapping, to hear 18000+ people singing their voices hoarse and hearts out to worship one God. Catholics, non-Catholic Christians from different churches and denominations, people from all over the country and even from some parts of the world came to Araneta that night to worship God…it was just overwhelming. I remember imagining how Araneta would look like if it was filled with people worshipping back in 2005 during Reuben Morgan’s worship, and dreaming to see it…and there it was. Right in front of me. I couldn’t help but just be in awe.

The worship lasted for almost two and a half hours and after spending some time in front and at the side, and then meeting with the Street Team for some last minute stuff before the worship ends. By the time they were singing From the Inside Out, we were at the back of the stage again, and we decided to stay there just so we can run to the back if they need us.

All the while during the worship, all I could say was I missed this. I missed being in worship, I missed clapping, jumping, dancing and raising my hands up in surrender to God. I actually stopped listening to their songs because I don’t feel like it anymore. I can’t remember the last time I worshipped like that, since it’s been so long since I attended any community event. Heck, I’m not even sure when was the last time I prayed the way I used to, ever since I started struggling with my prayer time. :( I’m not writing this all to boast because it’s really not something to boast about. The only thing I could really manage to do right now is to try (and sometimes it’s not even really trying) and go to mass (which sometimes I am not even mentally present in). And I missed that terribly. Moreover, I missed Him so so much, that I couldn’t believe why I didn’t feel excited with this event a few days back.

While singing at the backstage, Tuesday whispered to me, “I really should work on my prayertime,” to which I agreed. Then the band picked a fast praise song, and it was Salvation is Here. I started to laugh. It was as if God was telling me, “I missed you too. Welcome home.” :)

The night ended on a high note and then something happened that kind of brought all of our spirits down, but the band assured us it was okay. We spent the rest of the night and morning resting — or in my case and Happy’s case, talking — eating breakfast, getting ready for work, and final goodbyes to the team before we saw them off at the bus. We got photo ops with them (and YES! I have a photo with Jad! ♥) and finally, they were off.

I don’t know when they’d be coming back, and hopefully they do, after what happened in Araneta. :) It was an amazing, amazing experience, and I’ve been hearing so many messages, so many sharings and I’m glad that everyone was blessed as much as we were. :) Till next event, yes?

Oh, and to everyone who’s asking, here’s the setlist:

1. Time Has Come
2. Break Free
3. Take it All
4. My Future Decided
5. Mighty to Save
6. Hosanna
7. You’ll Come (Bridge only)
8. The Stand
9. Healer
10. Shout Unto God
11.  You Deserve
12. Look to You
13. Lead Me to the Cross
14. All I Need is You (Chorus and Bridge)
15. None But Jesus
16. From the Inside Out
17. Be Lifted High
18. Saviour King
19. Salvation is Here
20. What the World Will Never Take
21. Tell the World
22. One Way
23. Solution
    .

So was it a lot different than 2006’s event? It is. Of course back then I wasn’t part of the team, so I didn’t get to experience the entire backstage thing. And then, this one was just waaaay longer. But both were blessed events, and I know God likes to bless people differently in every opportunity, so really, there’s not much to compare. At least, on my side. Heh. :)

As for me…I’m working on my spiritual life, once again. I don’t know how to start, where to start and whatnot, but I am working on it. Your prayers will be greatly appreciated. :) It’s gonna be alright!

God bless everyone!

April’s ending in 3 days! How fast does time fly? I had a very hectic, tiring but fun weekend, thank you very much. And because I’m too tired to construct proper paragraphs, I’ll go for bullets:

• Overnight at a friend’s condo at Eastwood. This is to prepare for the outing the next day. It was fun talking to new friends (and seeing old ones; Hi Ate Xenia!), and it made me miss my dorm days when my school was just a few steps away. I swear, I really felt at home walking at Eastwood in my pambahay attire. Heh.
  
  
• Summer outing, second batch. It was…fun. Haha last week was more organized and we had a lot more things to do. This week had more people, but we also got to the resort late, so the games (which I was handling) was postponed. We decided to fill the balloons we have with water and throw it at each other. That was followed by swimming, throwing sand on each other, burying someone in the sand and then more sand throwing. :D The way home was filled with sound tripping and talking about stuff, which got my mind off some things but got me depressed over other things. Oh well, such is life. But the outing was fun, and it feels weird that its over — no more organizing (for now) and no more thinking about loot bags and games and whatnot. :D But I love my co-organizers. Go IBM Club! *group hug!*
  
  Loser moment though: I didn’t take any pictures. My camera decided to act up yesterday and I was too busy throwing sand at some people to actually take photos. Ohwell. Everyone had cameras anyway. :P
  
  
• Sleepover! I got home last night late, and Happy was waiting for me at home for the sleepover. I was supposed to help her with Wordpress but I was just too tired. I even fell asleep while she was talking. Oops. ^^; But it was fun, as usual. :D My moment of the night was when I woke up in the middle of the night coughing, and I went out to take a drink of water. When I got back, I had no voice. @_@ Oh, and there was when my mom stormed into the room to urge Happy to sleep on the folding bed, because my bed isn’t so wide. =))
  
  
• Altar Boyz! I watched Altar Boyz again earlier with Reeya and Happy. It was their last show today and that made me feel sad, but I loved it as usual. I loved it as usual, and I’ve finally decided that my favorite Altar Boy is Luke. :) And yes, that is also because Reuben is the easiest to talk to among the Boyz and he also said my review was easy to read. *is 100x flattered :”>* Reeya was so amused that she’s looking into selling Altar Boyz to schools. I sure hope this pushes through. :D
  
  I have more thoughts about the show now that I have observed it more (the first review was all squealing and stuff haha), I’m gonna write a separate post. :D
  
  
• Some other thoughts. This weekend does not excuse me from having more thoughts about some things that is not so easy to write about here. One thing I’d like to ask aloud though: Why is it whenever there seems to be something good coming out of something, there’s always something that happens that makes everything…I don’t know, complicated? Hay.
  
  
• Last. Besides listening to the Altar Boyz soundtrack over and over again, I’m also loving an old song I know: Don’t Even Start by Dan Mackenzie, only because the lyrics hit me straight. Heh.

There you go, my weekend. Back to work tomorrow. I need to start writing my to-do list for tomorrow — focus focus! Good night everyone. :)

So. The “obligatory” Valentine’s Day post.

I slept at 4:00am this morning because we were fixing stuff for IBM Club’s flower delivery today. I’ve never been so stressed for Valentine’s Week, and this certainly tops everything. I’ve been up to my ears with EVERYTHING, and I’ve snapped one too many times at too many people because I’ve got too many things to do and other people are just too busy doing other things and I really shouldn’t let that bother me, but it does. How about that for spreading the love?

So if you see my YM status for today, it’s me reminding myself to be patient: I will love the people I find hard to love. Even if it kills me. Happy heart’s day! @};-

Sooo…on the subject of Valentine’s Day. As opposed to last year’s V-day, this year is a bit…no, not sadder…just a bit less happy than I want to be. I wish I could say I’m not bitter about all these Valentine’s hoopla, but to be honest, I am. Just a bit. It’s like what I said here, I was processing serenading requests and flower requests and as much as I don’t want to think about it, I can’t help but wonder if someone got something from me. Not from anyone in particular, but just someone. Anyone. A friend, a teammate, whoever. But I ended up fixing all flower orders and no, my name wasn’t there. Except when I decided to buy some flowers. Who are those flowers for? No, not for myself, but I might just end up keeping one. Hah. Kidding. Oh, but my dad gave me flowers last night…thanks Pa! :D

The entire “feeling” almost made me regret that I ever suggested the idea when we were brainstorming for Valentine’s activities for the club. It made me wonder about the reason why I didn’t really care last year — was it because I really did not care, or because there was nothing like this to care about and wish for? Ah yes, all neurotic thoughts come in at this time of the year.

Yesterday as I walked to work, I was talking to myself about dealing with Valentine’s. I don’t hate the holiday, really. I know I’m just looking at it the wrong way — focusing on all the commercialization, and wishing to receive things that I could just give to people instead. Did that make sense? I hope so. I did a mental backtrack and remembered the decision I made a almost six months back: to take responsibility over my heart. And I quote:

Similarly, maybe it’s time for me to take responsibility over the matters of the heart. It’s not that I would get into one relationship after the other, or start being so flirty to every guy I meet…but basically stopping myself from using God as a scapegoat when I feel like I start to like someone. Maybe it’s time for me to start taking care of my own heart, not just leaving the job up to God alone. Time to get to know my own heart, and all that jazz. Because, as the quote I posted above said, I can’t be trusted with another’s heart until I can be trusted with mine.

This is my first Valentine’s Day where I am “responsible” for my heart. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but what is easy anyway? :P Valentine’s day is all about love, and I think one of the things I should learn today is to love myself, with or without a special someone. I never admitted this, but I always felt inferior with all the girls who received tons of flowers and gifts on February 14. I always felt like there’s something lacking in me, which is why I don’t receive anything. I’m not pretty, not popular, not lovable, not thin, not “delicate”, not mahinhin, not (insert adjective here) enough to be remembered on Valentine’s day. That is the ultimate cause of my bitterness, which I only admitted to myself now.

If there’s anything that I do not have enough of, it’s love for myself. Yes, I’ve always had that in some sense, but I don’t think I really believed it as much as I should. I tell myself I’m a princess, I’m beautiful, but I don’t think I really believed that. Yes, I may be pretty, but someone else is always prettier. And while yes, that may be true in the twisted sense that we all perceive beauty now, more truth is in the saying that everyone is beautiful. But I forget that a lot of times because I allowed myself to. Like what they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and the beholder would not see any beauty in a person if that person doesn’t see it herself. Or even himself.

On my 21st Valentine’s day as a single, I will deliver flowers with a smile. I will greet people without bitterness. Most of all, I will love — everyone I meet, the people I find hard to love, and most especially myself. I will learn to see the beauty in others and most especially in myself, because if I can’t see that and believe in that, no one else will.

And someday, I believe someone special will see that too. But…let’s not get to that now. ;)

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. ♥

Anyway, it’s how many days till Christmas, and in the spirit of the past years…I shall post another Christmas wish list. :) If you’re feeling quite generous, here’s some material things that you could get me that would make my Christmas brighter. :D

• Black or pink MacBook 13.3" iSkin. You can get one here with a really cheap price and have it delivered to me. ;) - Thanks, Wacky :D
• New earphones. Triskal's earphones are peeling and apparently, any physical damage is not covered by Apple's warranty (Argh). I want anything white, with good sound. I hear Creative is good?
• New shoes for work -- preferably low-heeled or flats, size 6.
• The Longman Writer Bible (P700+ in Powerbooks :D)
• Come Be My Light by Mother Teresa and Brian Kolodiejchuk
• Wallet that has a lot of card pockets.
• Bags. Any design as long as it's big enough to bring to work. ^NEW!
  
• A small and sturdy umbrella. As long as it does not get destroyed after one use. Black would be nice. :) Or purple. ^NEW!
  
• At least 160GB external laptop HDD, Mac ready, of course. At least 160GB, because Aslan's hard drive is 160GB, and I want to see how Time Machine works when I upgrade to Leopard, so I need an HDD bigger than Aslan's current HDD. :D
• A new water tumbler for work. My Pizza Hut Leaning Tower of Pisa tumbler is cracking. :-s Starbucks tumbler would be nice.
  
• 2007 Switchfoot Holiday Pack :D
• Dreamhost webhosting registration for two years. :P And a free domain registration too, if you want to make it a whole package. :)
• A bookshelf. Maybe around 4 feet high, and 4 feet wide or something. I'll get back on a photo of this.
• A day out with the Godchicks -- all complete!
• Pocket weekly Moleskine hardcover 2008 planner (I'm gonna get this myself in a week, so tell me if you're getting me this :P).
• Coolpad for Aslan.
• AppleCare for iPod video (Triskal)
• AppleCare for Aslan (never hurts to get one early :P)
• New slacks and tops for work
• Free hair straightening session at Going Straight
• Free foot spa and pedicure
• Blank unlined notebooks
• Anything with stars
• A sunflower (good luck with this :p)
• Two (2) 0.4 Pilot gTec refills, black
• A purple gTec 0.4 pen :D

Hi friends,

Just this month, a big literary event happened. You may not know about it, but as of this counting, there are about 300+ Filipinos involved in it. This November, the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) happened. NaNoWriMo is a month-long challenge for everyday people who ever wanted to write a novel, a.k.a. the one day novelist. You know, those people who say, “One day, I’m going to write a novel.” NaNoWriMo provides you with that one day. This is a challenge to write 50,000 words in the span of 30 days — approximately 1,667 words per day. This is one of the biggest writing events of the year participated in by 100,000 people of all ages from all over the world.

In case you don’t know (or maybe you haven’t been paying attention), I am the Municipal Liaison (ML) for the Philippines for NaNoWriMo 2007. Being an ML means I was put in charge in encouraging these fine Pinoy novelists for the month of November, as well as organize events for them. These writers have toiled their way to writing a novel this November, and even if some did not reach the 50,000 word mark, they are still considered as winners for the simple fact that they allowed themselves to be challenged by NaNoWriMo this month. This, then, deserves some sort of a victory party. The first ever victory party of the Filipino NaNoWriMo community to celebrate the end of the event, and to celebrate our own personal writing victories.

In connection with this, I, as the Municipal Liaison of the Filipino NaNoWriMo community, would like to ask for some help from any of the readers of my blog. See, although we are starting to be supported by a really great group, we are not funded by anyone. Most of the participants are students, and I am not as filthy rich as I want to. :D So I am asking for your kind help for any kind of prize donations that you may want to give to inspire these novelists. These prizes will be used as a raffle for all the participants who will join the victory party tentatively scheduled on December 8. These prizes could be anything that would inspire a writer to continue writing, such as:

• a journal
• a nice pen
• a writing book/manual — especially a copy of No Plot, No Problem!
• a book written during NaNoWriMo and published
  
• a novel about writing or reading (Jasper Fforde, anyone?)
• any book would do, actually :D
• coffee shop GCs, since writers like having write-a-thon’s at coffee shops
• bookstore GCs
• food - chocolates, potato chips — writers have to eat too
• bookmarks
• anything from The Office of Letters and Light Store (which ships here, I think)

Possible prizes are not limited to that. It could be as simple as a pin or as personal as a handwritten inspirational letter to a participant for NaNo 2008. It does not have to be expensive, just something a budding novelist could use to inspire him to continue to write. Cash donations will also be accepted, although I’m kind of wary with that. But if you do decide to give that, I assure you that (insert number here) stomachs will be happily filled by December 8.

If you would be kind enough to help me out and continue to inspire these Pinoy writers, kindly post a comment here so I can contact you, or just use the contact form and please put NaNoWriMo 2007 on the subject field so I know it’s about NaNo.

Thank you for reading this post, and I hope to hear from any of you readers (however few you may be) soon. :)

Tina (tinamats)
ML for the Philippines
NaNoWriMo 2007

Disclaimer: This is not an official NaNoWriMo site, nor is this request sponsored by NaNoWriMo. The content has not been reviewed by National Novel Writing Month. For more information on National Novel Writing Month, visit www.nanowrimo.org.

I love getting those optical illusion emails. You know, those graphics that you have to stare at for a long, long, long time and you have to see the hidden stuff, or find something that doesn’t seem to be there but is there? :D

Here’s some sort of an optical illusion, from Gadgenista. Like what she said, this is too good to pass up. :)

Is the dancer spinning clockwise or counter-clockwise? 

Apparently, there’s a meaning in the way you see her spin:

If you think she’s going clockwise, you’re apparently right-brain dominant (imaginative, philosophical, touchy-feely, impetuous); if you see her going counter-clockwise, you’re left-brain dominant (logical, practical, detail-oriented, safe).

If, like us, you are able to alternate views to see her going in both directions, then you’re just a plain old genius.

At first I saw her spinning counter-clockwise, but when I looked again, she was spinning clockwise. After much staring, I can see her spin both ways — clockwise for a while and then she switches to counter-clockwise. Also, some people say this GIF file is tricked and is not really an optical illusion, but I think it’s still too cool not to share. :D

So which way is she spinning for you? Clockwise or counter-clockwise?

Grace and I met up with Happy earlier during lunch and as we were gabbing about MacBooks and whatnot, I suddenly realized…

It’s been one month since the Switchfoot concert in Manila.

Awww! This time last month, I was still screaming my heart out during the concert. I can’t believe it’s been a month but there’s still remnants of the entire experience. :) I still miss them all, and I never fail to smile whenever I hear their songs, and I just love reading news about their tour (thanks to LOBH and Switchfeed!) and Jon’s blog. Although I’ve stopped listening to their songs everyday (haha, still on Matt Wertz mode!), their songs still have a special place in my iPod and my heart.

And I absolutely can’t wait for the next episode of the podcast (as Gharri would say, binibitin tayo!). I’ve been constantly checking my RSS reader in case Mr. Andy Barron finally posts the new podcast with Manila in it. Andy! When are you going to post it?

[Right, as if they’re actually reading my blog. Hmmm.]

So to everyone who are involved in the Switchfoot concert last month — theStreet Team, the fans: HAPPY SWITCHMONTH TO ALL OF US! :)

And if ever one of the guys (Andy, Chris, Ryan, Jon, Tim, Jerome, Chad and Drew) ever drop by here even accidentally — Manila misses you! :)

Last work day of the week tomorrow! I’ve been so busy the past few days that it makes me wonder if I have enough time to finish everything. But it’s okay, I love my job anyway. :) Tomorrow I finish two pending requests (and more?) and then we have a team dinner at Marikina at night ‘coz it’s payday. Wohoo. And more stuff coming in this weekend, so I’ve got to keep my energies up. :)

Good night everyone. :D

So this morning, I was trying to transfer a captured video from my brother's computer to good old Ginger ((My 3 1/2 year old Toshiba Satellite A20-S330 laptop)), but because of Ginger's old age, it was obviously slow. And because Ginger was running iTunes, Adobe Premiere Pro 1.5 all at the same time on Intel Pentium 4 2.66GHz and 256MB DDR, I knew that Ginger would give up on this. And true enough, I had to wait a minute or so before I could finally close down Premiere and iTunes.

I've mentioned before that I am starting to look for a new laptop, but to be honest, I'm kind of clueless. I know what I want, but I don't know which should I get so I can get what I want. Simply speaking, I have a set of specs that I want for my next laptop, but I don't know which to get that has the same specs. So...I need your help. You, yes, you, the readers (Hello, is there anyone out there? :D).

I have no laptop in mind just yet, but I do have the following specs updated from my last wishlist (must be at least these specifications):

• Intel Core 2 Duo processor (I don't really care about the CPU speeds, as long as it is Core 2 Duo. But 2.0 GHz would be nice :) )
• At least 1GB RAM, expandable
• At least 120GB HDD (I used to want 80GB only, but let's be realistic -- I'm really going to need more than that :p)
• Graphics card do not really matter to me as much as it does to my brother, but I'd like it if it's at least 64MB. I don't care if it's shared, especially if my memory is 1GB already.
• Bluetooth and/or Infrared (But I like Bluetooth better)
• WiFi and Ethernet LAN (which laptop doesn't have this?)
• DVD+RW (what speeds are available?)
• At least 2 hours battery life (Because Ginger has two hours...and I'd need that for loooong writing moments)
• At least 12" screen size. That's already small, I know.
• Firewire port -- just to make my life easier when it comes to getting videos in case of a shoot.
• Finally it must be light enough to bring around. Trust me, having a 3.6kg laptop is not fun.
• EDIT: How could I forget this? OS must be anything BUT Vista.
  

That's about it. Now I know people would say it depends on how I would use the laptop. So here's how I usually use my laptop:

• Web design and development - PHP, MySQL (this is a must!), JavaScript, CSS, XHTML, some Perl
• Flash animation/programming (Action Script)
• Photo editing
• Video editing (this is mainly for my brother if he wants to borrow the laptop)
• Writing (as in long hours of writing, that's why I want long battery life *imagines myself writing away in a coffee shop. Yes, it's so elitistang burgis :p*)
• Internet, obviously
  
• And the usual movies, music and some games.
  

Programs I make use of a lot:

• Firefox
• Yahoo! Messenger
• iTunes
  
• Photoshop
• Flash
• MS Word, Excel
• XAMPP (PHP, Apache, MySQL)
• And if I get enough funds to pursue this photography thing, then I'd use that laptop forthat too.

I think...that's it? Yeah, basically that's it. Now this is where I need your help. Suggestions on brands, models and better specs? Are my specs list impossible to achieve? Haha. Oh yeah, my budget for this is up to PHP 70K, including the necessary (original) software I would need (yes, let's really say no to piracy once and for all :p). I can't spend more than that because I'd be bankrupt then. :P Sorta.

Sooo...what do you say? To those who just bought a new laptop, why'd you buy yours? And to those who know more about laptops than I do, what would you recommend? 

Well that’s another long nonpost. I’m sorry about that. I have a perfectly good excuse, really, besides having nothing much to write (really!), I also got the chance to meet up with a bunch of amazing guys last weekend, which is why I am having a bit of a hard time writing it down because everything still feels so surreal.

Okay, let’s try this again. :)

I guess everyone who’s been to my blog knows that I am part of the Switchfoot in Manila Street Team (with that probably driving a lot of hits to my site, thus making my domain eat up a lot of bandwidth. But it’s all good. ;)

Sunday afternoon found me, Happy, Tuesday and Reeya at Shangrila Mall to plan our itinerary for the day and for the next day. It was only the three of us then because Tue and Happy volunteered their cars for the event, and I tagged along to volunteer my services in case they need help. Then we went around Manila (literally :p) and ended up at the hotel at night with Grace, Erik and Gharri to wait for midnight where we would all troop over to the airport to pick the band up.

[To read the whole entry, click here]

“That’s what the right person does. But they don’t create it. Only the Creator can create…You’ve got to deal with your heart. Because until you can be trusted with your own heart, you can’t be trusted with someone else’s.”
- Savannah Philips, to her best friend Paige Long, Savannah by the Sea, p.300

Something is promised to us and in our time of need we fail to work to get that promise – either we don’t ask for the promise to be delivered, or we sit around and wait for the Lord “to provide” without using our God-given talents and resources!
- Victoria L., Didache, 8/14/2007

Right now, I just turned the TV off, I'm listening to LifeTeen.com's Sunday Sunday Sunday podcast in preparation for tomorrow's mass and I just cracked my Bible open for the first time the past few weeks.

To be honest, it feels kind of...weird, yet strangely familiar and comforting. I haven't done this for the longest time, and I feel like I'm groping in the dark.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Tuesday sent me an article talking about The Flight of my Life, and this particular line that the author quoted from George Verwer struck me: "Christians have to relearn their faith from scratch at every stage of life." From scratch, huh?

I guess I'll go out and come clean again: I haven't really been praying as much as I used to for the past few days. Or weeks. Sure, I do the prayer before meals (and I admit to missing that too), the little, "Hello, Lord", the quick, whispered novenas and other prayers...I tell people I will pray for them, but I am having a hard time remembering them there too. I figured I owe a lot of people a lot of knocks on Heaven's door and I am pretty sure God must be wondering where I am every morning which is when I set my prayer time schedule. And I could only imagine Him seeing me asleep, or doing something else and waiting patiently for me to wake up or stop what I'm doing, pick up my Bible and talk to Him. As in really talk to Him, the way I do before.

He must've been trying to get my attention for the past weeks too. Like a little spark of attraction to someone when it's just plain wrong and I really just don't want to be attracted to anyone just yet, or the little annoyances that come up at work, the concert I'm helping to promote, doing new things at work, and even getting sick. But have I sat down and prayed about any of those?

Um...no. *hides face*

Looking back a month ago, I see myself praying every single day, and repeating devotional prayers to calm my nerves. Holding on to God because there's no one else to hold on to. Just wanting to be in His presence because it's the only place I can find peace.

What made everything change? What's the difference between then and now?

Ladies and gentlemen, I finally figured it out.

It's the new job.

Yep, I realized that ever since I started my new job, I've stopped praying. Not intentionally, of course. It just slipped. Like, back in my old job, I had to wake up really early to get to work, so I do and right after taking a bath, I get to read my Bible and pray a bit. Now, I wake up a bit late since my travel time is shorter, plus the fact that I have to do some housekeeping before I go to work (i.e. cook breakfast, make sure everything's okay, etc). When I get to work...well, it's basically the same before: I hardly get in time to pray because whenever I'm finally reading Companion or the reflections, I get distracted by some other stuff in the PC or people start coming in and I feel weird for praying like that.

I did just say that, right? *palmface*

Back then I kept on praying because my heart would not be still in that place. It was a constant struggle for me to love what I am doing, and everyday I pray for God to take me out of there, or at least, bring me somewhere that I know He knows I love.

Now He did. He brought me out of my valley, and up to my mountaintop. It's no hidden fact that I'm very happy with where I am right now, that I can see a bright future ahead. But after a few weeks of basking in that, I find myself asking: what now?

I've reasoned out that my joy in my work is already a form of a prayer...that my enjoying my work is a prayer in itself. Or maybe that's just an excuse for my non-praying. Don't get me wrong, I'm not substituting that for real prayer time. And I'm also not saying that I'm better off before, because I am forever thankful to God for bringing me where I am. I'm pretty sure that this new job is a God-given thing, but it's not supposed to stop me from praying to Him.

So maybe this is the new stage that Mr. Verwer is talking about, the new stage in my life where I relearn my faith from scratch. I've always believed that whenever there's this moment of difficulty in a person's life, it's a moment for the person to shine, a moment where God is bring him/her deeper into the personal relationship with Him. But maybe it's not just in those difficult moments where God helps us grow grow, but also the times during times of happiness and contentment, the times when the parts of your life seem to be (finally) falling into place.

Right now I'm trying to build my faith from scratch, just as where He placed me. Trying harder, more effort than before, because I know that God is telling me to do so, and it's the only way to go. He is faithful, and I know that I can trust that even if I keep on failing, He is always (and will be) faithful to me.

Oh, and if you can say a little prayer for me for this particular part of my life, I'd really appreciate it. :) By God's grace, I will get through this. :)

Bring it on, Lord. I'll see You at the start, at the end and at every step of this stage, alright? Thank You for sticking with me.

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want
- Faithful, Brooke Fraser