I still can’t believe I’m already 20. Haha. Pardon the comments and
all that, especially to those who are have been in their 20’s for quite
some time now, but turning from 19 to 20 is a big thing for me. Haha. I
figured I should stop saying I’m twenteen and just accept the fact that
I am twenty, period. Besides, Ate Chinky did say that 20’s will be a blast…so there! Haha.
But seriously speaking, my birthday yesterday made me realize a couple of things.
First off, is that I’m not as patient as I thought I am.
Through the past year, I can say that I’ve learned to be more patient
than I normally am. However, yesterday, God gave me a test of patience.
I went to school to meet up with my PHILHIS groupmates to work on our
report on Thursday next week. So I met them at the gazebo and there was
this guy who was their friend and talked to me. So, being friendly and
all, I talked to him too while we waited for Anjo. After a while, we
talked about our report and this guy kept on giving suggestions and
other comments as if he was a part of our group. He was suggesting
different kinds of things such as we should make a documentary of the
videos and all that. I told him we don’t have much time, and he asked
us when our report was and my groupmate answered on Thursday and then
he said, “Why are you only doing it now?” And then he had the nerve to
comment, “Tina, you should use your Computer Science knowledge to make
your report good!” He even accompanied us to the library to help us in
our report, as if he was doing us a favor. All the while, I was just so
annoyed at him for being soo…pakialamero. Good thing my other groupmate had to leave at 2:30 so Anjo and I had an instant excuse to leave too.
It
was just so annoying, mehn. I felt like my annoyance can be felt by my
seatmates then because it was just really annoying! HARRRR.
But
anyway, I figured that I’m not as patient as I thought I was and
there’s still a lot more work in loving that I should ask God. That
person is a perfect example of a person who is hard for me to love…but
because God wants me to love everyone, I should learn to love people
like him, no matter how annoying he is. I’m pretty sure he won’t be the
only annoying person I would meet in my life.
Anyway, the second and most important lesson I learned yesterday is this: IT’S NOT ABOUT ME.
To be totally honest, I was kind of expecting a surprise thingie done
by my friends because, well, we do that to each other. Even if I was
pushing it at the back of my mind, I was secretly hoping for an honest
to goodness “I can’t believe you went through all this” kind of
surprise. I wanted to receive a cake, flowers and get all the people I
care for to be there with me for my birthday and hear all the nice
things they have to say about me. After all, it’s MY day.
But
it didn’t arrive. I got a different kind of “surprise", which was cool,
yeah. But I have to admit that I was disappointed. When I got back to
the dorm, I was kind of expecting a hidden surprise there that my
friends managed to set up, but there was still nothing. I pushed the
disappointment away and just fixed my stuff to be ready for bed that
night. Then I reached for my copy of It’s Not About Me by Max
Lucado to read before I sleep. My eyes landed on the cover and I didn’t
even turn a page when I was struck dumb with all I am thinking.
IT’S NOT ABOUT ME.
Even if it’s my birthday, it’s not about me. Even if it’s supposed to be MY special day, IT’S JUST NOT ABOUT ME. IT WAS NEVER ABOUT ME. How dare I ask for a surprise that honors me when my very existence in this earth is not about me, but about God?
The
very thought led me to prayer and I thanked God for letting me realize
what had happened that day for my birthday. God had taught me a very
important lesson, not only in humility but also in the very reason of
my existence. It was then I let go of my dream of having the perfect
birthday surprise that I’ve been wishing to have, and the time when I
fully accepted my role of being God’s mirror in this world. My birth is
one of God’s works, and I am here to reflect His glory for others to
see. I don’t need the surprise, I’ll be well and happy to just be able
to reflect God’s goodness to other people. I don’t need people to honor
me; I want them to honor the God who has been so gracious to let me
live in this world. It’s not about me, it’s about Him.
“And we, with our unveiled faces reflecting like mirrors the brightness
of the Lord, all grow brighter and brighter as we are turned into the
image that we reflect; this is the work of the Lord who is Spirit.”
- 2 Corinthians 3:18 (JB)
It’s not about me, it’s about Him. 